Lunatic by the Sea

At this point, living by the sea is my only real goal. It is not that there is a lack of things I want to accomplish or experience in my lifetime, but a doubt in all things except Murphy's Law, a Pyrrhic world-view has overcome any sense that the chaotic mechanism that wields the hand of time has anything good in store for me. I do not believe in fate, nor have I ever, but obstacles seam to be more of a burden on some than others, and occur more often. As time flies by I become more jaded, I am impressed by less and expect less. Of those few rewards I receive, even less are satisfying: the few times a year I hear the roar of the sea and a rare good nights rest, are the limited moments of ecstasy; in my formative years everything was so much more exciting and fulfilling, but the decisions I have made, and the random effects of time have lead me towards the mundane, notice I do not mention “fate.” There is no such thing as fate, nor is there such a thing as freewill: freewill is the ability to do as one pleases without repercussions, fate is a destined outcome regardless of choice, we exist somewhere between these two poles, yes I am free to pursue my of living by the e sea, but something in the law of nature may holds me back, those obstacles that weigh so heavy on the goals of some and seam to be in favor of the goals of others. I have obtained a B.A. However, all other things I attempt seam to end in shambles: interpersonal relationships go sour, attempts to make a living end in shambles. At this point I want to retire by the sea, so I may write in peace.